I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
