Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I will be naked everywhere
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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