it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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