thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
porn star boner night. come get it.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
