I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
