walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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