You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i dont even know how to be here
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
