she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We had sex on a dog bed..
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize