why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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