After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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