Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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