your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
