Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
