i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
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she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
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I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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