Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
