i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
