Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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