Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He better not be in your backpack
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
