I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
