In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
