I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Randomize
