She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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