Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
