zippers are such a cool invention
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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