Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Its about making memories worth repressing
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
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