Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
My orgasm happened in two different decades
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
