I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
