I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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