she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
