She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We were destined to go to rehab together
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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