She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
