I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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