Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
