Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
