OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
