Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
