i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
