dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
