Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
