woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
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my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
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hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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