Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
