Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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