so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
