Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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