...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
