you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
