so explain again why im purple
no
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize