doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he was CRYING into my vagina
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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