After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
FUCK WHALES
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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