Too much gin, very little bucket
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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