If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
