Dual....:-)
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
