we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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