I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
