I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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