Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
