Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.