I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."