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• (515): View more from Iowa

  How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"

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  23 Annoying things Girls Do When They’re Trying To Be Cute

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night

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• (516): View more from New York

  The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.

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• (961): View more from

  It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after

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• (+22): View more from

  Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?

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