Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
