she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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