My room smells like vodka and shame
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
