Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Text me some of your sweat
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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