Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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